[Nicholas Olson is a writer by hobby and a flaky traveller by trade. He enjoys reading any literature with a semblance of a point and writing things that often disappoint and upset his parents.]
Mark 13:33-37: 33 Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come. 34 It’s like a man going away: He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with their assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch. 35 “Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. 36 If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. 37 What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’”
I don’t know if you heard or not, but the world ended in October.
Yeah, you thought you were living this entire time, going to work, going for jogs, and enjoying time with your family, when the apocalypse actually happened a while ago. You may say to yourself, if this is heaven, Regina in winter, then I was grossly misled. You may also say to yourself getting in your car on a daily basis that it is cold as the underworld outside, so Brother Mike, the prophetic pastor of the South, could very likely have been right.
There is a saying that goes something like this: A watched burrito never microwaves. When hunger is greater than patience, you end up eating a chimichunga with a warm shell and still-frozen block of cheese in the middle. When you wait in too great of anticipation, your excitement borders on delusional. You start to hallucinate mathematical equations that prove the end of the world on May 21st, 2011 and also on October 21st, 2011. It is like when a young man impatiently waits for a wife, he often makes the mistake of pulling a ring out to the first thing with feminine features and flower-scented hair that will talk to him for more than a month straight.
Waiting is patient.
When impatience sneaks in, waiting becomes an overanxious, mistake-ridden period that only overlooks the things that matter during the time that you should have been waiting in the first place. Anticipation of a warm, gooey, evenly-microwaved burrito is often even better than the real thing, but once you push that ‘Cancel’ button and open the door to the microwave, you have effectively ruined your meal. We can watch and pay attention, but we can’t let our vision become so focused on what may happen in our afterlife that we are blind to our humanly duties and goodwill pre-burrito obligations in which we must partake. Because if we neglect these obligations then it won’t even matter if we were the first ones at the door with garlands and songs of jubilation.
What I say to you, I say to everyone: Wear a watch if you must, but don’t forget what time it is right now.