Through the Darkness

[ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jared Oberkirsch is a third year U of S medical student completing the remainder of his education here in Regina at the General Hospital. This past summer, he married his beautiful wife, Haleigh Maw, and they are currently living happily ever after while finishing their university degrees.]

medical_school_examsOkay, maybe comparing final exams to darkness is a bit dramatic, but it’s definitely how I’ve been feeling the last few weeks. I’m writing this post as a guy who has freshly completed his last set of university final exams…ever. Today, after a couple days of sleeping and napping and eating and napping and watching TV and sleeping, I can confidently say that I am at peace.

I think…

After all, this is a season of peace, isn’t it? “Peace on Earth and good will to men.” The songs on the radio as well as those on my personal playlist are all proclaiming it. Practically screaming it. And by all accounts I’ve reached a significant goal in my education and should be enjoying a few weeks of quiet, unashamed peace. I can just take a breath…and then another…and another. Cuz I’ve earned it right? My own little personal-sized peace.

Then how come I can’t quite get comfortable?

The problem with my newfound free time is that it has given me just that; time. Time to think – without feeling guilty about not turning the pages of my textbooks. Time to reflect on the struggles and successes of the past semester and how they have impacted me. Time to consider what aspects of my life have gained strength, but also where I may need to do some housekeeping.

I’d like to believe that my peace is simply hiding in the basket of dirty laundry. But maybe it’s actually under the dust that has settled on my Bible over the past couple weeks. Or maybe my peace is out somewhere on the streets of Regina – in the shivering hands of someone who has no home to turn to tonight. I think God is ultimately trying to tell me is that I still have work to do. I’ve been neglecting His homework.

“No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” (Hebrews 12:11)

I guess my problem that I’m trying to be the one to decide when I’ve earned the right to be at peace. But it looks like that’s not my call. God has a plan and I believe it’s a good one! However, it requires me to let go of my agenda and work for the day when He says, “Well done, good and faithful servant!” On that day, by His grace I will finally be granted peace.

Until then, I just have to press on.

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